People who watch 'American Idol' aren't normal

People who watch "American Idol" aren't normal, and I can prove it, too!

USA Today says "Idol" was the mosted-watched show on broadcast TV the week ending April 6, with 26.1 million viewers.

So, how can you say that people who watch the No. 1 show in the country aren't normal?

Well, the U.S. Census Bureau says there are 303.8 million Americans.

That means only 8.6 percent of the population watched the No. 1 show of the week.

If you define normal as whatever most of the population believes or does, then people who watch "Idol" aren't normal.

I'm not saying "Idol" is a bad show. I'm saying that, technically, people who watch the show aren't normal. I'm saying that, technically, people who don't watch "Idol" are in the majority and, by one definition of the word, are normal.

So, why's it a big deal in the media when someone gets voted off?

Beats me, because, if you look at the numbers, it's pretty clear that 91.4 percent of the U.S. population don't give a poop. One theory, though, is that some people still haven't figured out there's no such thing as mass media anymore.

Years ago, there was, of course.

Wikipedia -- yeah, I know, it's not really an authoritative source, but stay with me on this -- Wikipedia says 82.6 percent of households tuned in to watch Elvis Presley's first appearance on "The Ed Sullivan Show" back in 1956. This year's Super Bowl drew 43.1 percent of households, but that means 56.9 percent of Americans, what you might call the normal ones, didn't watch the game.

I'm not saying that's good or bad. I'm just saying.